In a few days, I will drive back to Berkeley and hold my girl friend tight in my arms
In a few days, I will begin my non-profit
In a few days, I will never see some of my HS acquaintances again...ever
In a few days, I will not see some of my friends for another 2-3 yrs
In a few days, I will not see my family for more than a couple days in a year for at least another 2-3 yrs
In a couple months, I will be in Japan
In a few months and for a few of years, I will be in Chicago

It’s a strange feeling…knowing that everything is going to change but having to wait for it to come.

As with everyone else in the world, so much has happened to me in 8 years.

From my secret absences, failing grades, and recluse nature in HS to my near perfect grades, ignited ambition and perseverance and passion to help others in Riverside to my growing confidence in my abilities, recognition that play is as important as work and determination to not become a “typical sheep that chases the mass” (what my professor wrote about me to an employer), I have grown from a frail, dependent and lost individual into a man.

At the same time, I’ve lost touch with almost all my HS friends.  I can no longer carry on conversations with most of them.  I think this has occurred for two reasons: 1) we’ve grown into different individuals with vastly different ambitions where idle talk is as far as we can communicate and 2) we were never close to begin with.

I’ve realized (though I’ve always truly known) that I’ve never really had a strong history with most of my friends.  I can think of…3 people in my life where there’s been a strong connection: one I’ve completely lost touch with, one I rarely talk to anymore and one I’m starting to lose touch with…

The sad thing is, I’m not saddened by this progression.  I’ve always been and will always be comfortable being, a loner.  I seem to tread my own path without regard to anyone, and as “nice” as some people think I am, in the end, I am truly selfish.

It’s interesting to see the path each person has taken and more still, seeing how far down that path they have walked.  I often compare my HS self, Riverside self and Berkeley self, and in the end, I’m proud of what I’ve become, but not nearly satisfied.  In some regards, I wish I was more like my Riverside self; however, at the same time, if I hadn’t changed, I would have walked down the same path as my father.

It’s discerning to know of a problem but be unable to avoid it.  To find and implement a solution but only exacerbate the situation.  Since coming to Berkeley, I’ve hit a cross road and even today the problem has not been rectified.  Do I charge ahead and fulfill my ambitions and risk becoming my Father?  Do I stand back and risk blending in with the masses?  I don’t think I can have both. 

In a few days, I will make my decision and travel down another road

And a few years, I’ll see if I made the right choice

To those who have read this boring entry, don’t comment.  I wrote this to myself as a reminder to never forget what I’ve accomplished, what I’ve lost, and to never lose sight of my potential.

Currently Reading Microeconomics (6th Edition) (Prentice-Hall Series in Economics) By Robert S. Pindyck, Daniel L. Rubinfeld see related

riverside was round 1.  im ready to start round 2.
im learning a lot in my classes, but im missing out on more; in which case, no second session summer school for me.

my plans for the remainder of the summer:
1) finish summer session A
2) build a database to create and manage various portfolios
3) continue to expand my original business plan
4) establish a viable solution to effectively and efficiently deliver quality "education" to families/children in poverished areas - the use of "education" embraces its broad definition ranging from general scholastics to health to economic development and technological advancements
5) incorporate #2-4 in a solid business plan

i welcome any help.

take care everyone.

...FUCK...ok.ok.
round 3)  this is the second time i was almost done putting up pictures and iexp dies on me.

so, again, updating seattle/canada pictures.  hubert, james, jiin, super duper tina, and i drove to seattle/canada during a three day weekend.  the aformentioned people are now known as down brotha-mans / sista-man...at least in my vocabulary.  we all had midterms/tests/papers the following week.  instead of saying, "gee guys, that sounds swell, but i have work to do, maybe next time" *ahem, peter* we basically said, f'it, we're too cool for school. 

and so the picture journey begins...again...

1) packed and ready to roll son! 2) james and hubert drive up from socal 3) a few hours into the drive.  we set out to pick up our sista-man in seattle. according to tina, the drive is like 7-8hrs ish from berkeley to seattle.

1,2,3) gas stop.  we found a patch of snow towards the back, we were amazed so we played in it.

1) next stop: WEED!!!  tey even have a weed highschool
2) james whips out his laptop and plays contra.  trust me on this, you'll never meet anotehr fob that cheats and verbally abuses while playing a game more than him.  "TAKE THAT TAKE THAT YEAH BITCH DIE TAKE THAT TAKE THAT YEAH BITCH YEAH"
3,4) sleeping uglies

1) gas stop.  see that sandwhich in huberts hand?  it was sooo cold that he couldnt bite it because he was shivering so much.  can you beleive it?  FATASS COULDNT EAT THE SANDWHICH!!!
2) remeber the first pictures?  the sun was up...
3) james stayed up the whole night with me, freakin gangsta.

1) seattle.  tina's estimated time = 8hrs, b/c we're such gangstas, we did it in 13hrs!!!  what that jiggy, if you know me, then yu know how i drive, 8 hrs my ass!!!
2) and theres super duper tina.  the last of the down brothamans.  she graciously treats us to breakfast. 
3) sleeping ugly sleeps again...even though he got the most sleep in teh car than anyone else.  i tried sleeping, but a fat fu*ker was snoring soooo loud i couldnt sleep (no not hubert another fattass).  so, to keep myself occupied, i tore down shit and put it on hubert while he slept.

1,2,3) a few hours later, we set off to canada ey.

1) there was massive traffic to get into cananda that basically no car was moving...theres a long story that goes with this photo, but at this point, tina is pimping us four good looking gentlemen to the girls infront of us, and she got their number!!!  freakin PIMP.  hahahah...remembering how it got to that point...man we weer freakin bored...
2) watch out for walking hollahoopers
3) vancouver canada, ey. took about 3hrs 

1,2) like 90% of the buildings in vancoucer look exactly teh same, its weird.
3) our quest for beer starts.  so, we try a 7-eleven - no beer.  supermarkets - no beer.  everywhere they dont sell beer.  WTF is going on!!!  we find out that they only sell beer in liquer stores.  strange ey?

1,2) our MUCH deserved beer.
3) Bar #1.  dont really have pictures of it, but its one of the nicest bars/lounges ive been to

1) dont know what we were talkin about, but looks like i was about to lay the smack down on hubert
2) but then we made up :) look at those fru fru drinks.  only my dirnk was a mans drink.  a dirty martini.  mmmm i want a dirty martini right now...
3) we all buy tina a drink through out the night.  that ones jiins

1) and thats mine, this is bar #2
2) look at huberts face.  it looks like hes gonna orgasm from the prospect of eating a shrimp
3) club, hubert dancin on his down.  look at him! hes tearin it up!

1) back from the club, everyone crashes except hubert and i drink a 1/2/a  few more...dont remeber...and dont remeber how i ended up in that bed...  look at huberts face...i cant tell if hes so happy with the beer that hes about to do a shimmy or if hes trying to prevent himself from crappin in his pants
2) canada back to seattle, again, james is the only one that stays alseep with me
3) ladies and gentlemen...hubert did not finish his food *gasp!*  ..another retarded face by hubert.

1) james and hubert being artsy
2) feeding ducks.  there was this goose, and obviously hes bigger than fucks.  hes also slower at picking up bread crumbs than the ducks.  so, b/c we're so nice, we hurl bread crumbs at teh good goose so that the crumbs bounce off the goose and the ducks come in and steal teh prize.  it started honking and kinda biting the ducks, but in the end, it lost.

1) check this out, this is tinas library.  looks like a cathedral.  so beautiful.  so yu might ask, wtf you doin in a library...well...
2) studyin!!!!  so we werent too cool for school...but still...we're pretty cool
3) some statue outside of the library

1,2) back at tinas dorm.  drank a few beers and slept like 3 hrs and...
3) drove back to berkeley.

tha down sista-man and brotha-mans

statistics:
Road trip total hours (from my perspective): 77hrs (we left late friday and came back monday night)
Driving time from berkely to seattle: 13hrs one way x 2 = 26hrs
Driving time from seattle to canada: 3 hrs on way x 2 = 6hrs
Time i spent driving: 32hrs
% of road trip spent in a car: 42%
Was it worth it?  FUCK YEAH!

Hubert and james came from socal
Driving time from San Diego to Berkeley: 10hrs one way x 2 = 20hrs
Total hours james and hubert were in a car: 52hrs
Longest stretch where one person stayed in a car:
   Tina: 3hrs
   Mark, Jiin: 13hrs
   James and Hubert: 23hrs!!!!!!!!  they left right when i drove back to berkeley!!!

an unforgetable adventure.  very very very good times spent with very very very good people. 

next post, hk and china...have close to 300 pictures...so i gotta sort through em...

take care everyone.

HOla everyone,

first some pic during valentines weekend.  i had three dates.  i know, im pimp.

Christina, Willa, Archna in front of Tommaso

the second pic, archna wanted me to do the thug peace sign

me doin thug peace sign and then doin fooby peace sing with willa.  iono why...they like peaces signs i guess...

yes...i am wearing high heels...

my feet are freakin ugly yo.

okok, yah i know those pics make me look pretty gay.  but you know what?  i have a confession to make.  cal has changed me.  im coming out right here right now!  meet my "friend."  his name is bob schaeffer

hes a bio major at cal and he plays baseball.  doesnt he have the cutest smile?

i know you all must be shocked, im pretty surprised myself...well, anyways.

thats about it everyone.  I have gangsta pics from Seattle and Canada that i'll put up...sometime.

Im goin to HK and China for spring break.  I know you're all jealous.  i'll take lots of pics and post those as well when im done.

alrighty, peace out in tha hood my jiggas.

-me

Currently Playing Breathe / Poison / Trick / Their Law By Prodigy see related

- Breathe

yo,

heres the deal, pictures first then some boring personal crap.  but before i start, does anyone else not get xanga updates?  i have two theories: 1) xanga doesnt like me and 2) everyones blocked my ass.   i hate you all.

#1 beau and peter after visiting eth asian art museum. #2 sf traffic, after going to sausalito (sp?), in 30 min we moved a block and a half so we decided f'it and drove around eventually grabbing dinner in china town

more pictures

#2  i focused on the mirror on purpose...i thought that was artistic

#1 see that sign on the light?  advertisement for an exhibit at the museum of modern art, i went there and was bored as hell    #2 berkeley, see the trees?  they are pretty damn weird lookin.  i heard that they were teh first genetically altered...plants...anything...iono and that the stems of the trees were altered to grow like roots.  you cant see it because they were cut, but in the spring/summer each stem grows out like 10 shoots of little stems.  theyre ugly as hell but kinda cool.

#1 #2 student orgs tableing / this is basically where everyone enters school

#1campus   #2 the main library, been in there twice and got lost twice while inside...havent been back since

#1 teh ugliest structure on campus, its stripped and bare-boned so that architecture students can learn/see whats on the inside. #2 clock tower

#1 i love how my campus is hilly and not flat #2 a stream that goes through campus

#1 one area on campus looks like a forest #2 this is one sweet-ass tree, its either 2 trees where one is growing out of the husk of another or 1 tree that half way died and rotted away but is growing again, closes ups below

#1,2 i love looking at this thing, i some times read/study on the above it.  and yes the tree is alive, it has leaves during the spring/summer

#1,2 heres where im at 95% of the time if im on campus, btw for those that dont know haas family owns levis jeans, also our largest lecture hall is the anderson auditorium aka author anderson of that enron ish and i had my business moral/ethics class in that room.

#1 outside haas, #2 inside haas.  haas is like a little community of its own.  all of the business classes are here, we have a cafeteria, library, computer center, stationary store, our own student body government, private study lounges, courtyard, forums, and the layout of the site basically makes it feel like we're in our own little business bubble.

#1 haas from up top, #2 go bears! - not like i really have any school pride.

#1 an old guy playing some sweet ditties #2 on this street called telegraph, everyday, venders setup there tables and sell political stickers/shirts, rocks, action figures made of metal, blankets, jewelery, piercings, posters, paintings, herbal crap, insense, etc...

#1,2 and telegraph wouldnt be complete without its entertainers, vagabonds, bums, beggers, drunkards, blazers (i usually get a wiff of weed in the air everyday), and the mentally unstable

#1 eveyone ive talked to (for all the pictrues), they're all prety nice people, one girl who was part of this group didnt want me to take her picture...i had to get permission from her overlord on planet...somethin and then some dumbass stuck his middle finger infront of the camera when i took teh picture.  #2 fat guy, always see him on telegraph and has never heard him beg but have seen him blaze a few times.

#1 claims hes a vet, i believe him.  always at the same place, infront of cafe intermezzo.  have never heard him beg, so i buy him food every once in a while.  that bag behind the coke, half salad (no sprouts, no tomatoes, vinageret tossed in) half sandwhich (turkey, mustard, lettuce, no mayo, no tomatoe, no sprouts)  thats his favorite.

well, thats it for the pictures.  everything else is boring stuff and just my own ramblings; in which case, scroll down to the next xanga entry (if youre viewing this from an email) or carry on in looking for porn or if you're nerd like beau, go back to studyin.

**warning free association ahead, so if a) my thoughts are out of order or just dont make any f'n sense and b) anything sounds wussy, BLOW ME**

actually i just saved you the trouble and deleted it all.  hahahaha.

anyways, for those that care, im good.  same-o same-o. 

take care everyone.

-me